Fear: Take the first step to freedom
Ignoring your fear only makes it worse, its time to face it and start the journey to a fear-free life.
Hey there, welcome to the third issue of the Breakdown. Hope you enjoyed the last two? Here is the link to the most recent one if you missed it.
Research has shown that fear starts as early as 6 months. Infants, born with no true awareness of fear, start to feel afraid at 6 or 7 months.
It gets worse when they start to develop a memory of familiar faces, so anyone who is not their parent or sibling becomes a stranger to be feared.
So it continues until we are adults afraid of strangers, snakes, heights, you name it.
This fear gives room to anxiety and negative thinking (worry) which in turn can lead to procrastination, perfectionism, other psychological and physical problems.
You get the picture. Fear is the worst, it can cripple you until you become a shadow of yourself and unable to live the full life you should be living that is until you figure out how to conquer it.
Here is how to take the first step to freedom
Acknowledge it
It can be uncomfortable being honest and admitting that something scares you but that is exactly what you need to do.
To solve this, you have to first admit that there is a problem. Say your fears out loud, write it down if you need to.
Get acquainted with it
Sometimes fear comes from not truly understanding something and then you become afraid of the unknown.
This is why you need to educate yourself. Find out why you are afraid of this thing and become knowledgeable about it if your fear is based on a lack of information.
Face it head-on
A common fear of many adults is public speaking. For something like this, the best way to get rid of it is to practice, practice and practice before finally doing it as many times as you need to conquer this fear. Trust me, you will realise you had nothing to be afraid of.
Carmine Gallo, the author of Talk Like TED, approves of this method saying, “I find that practising a presentation a minimum of 10 times is ideal.”
Tell people
Fear can be conquered by getting support from friends and family. Letting other people in will make you feel less alone and make you feel more confident about your ability to deal with this issue.
Take it to God
I saved the best for last. This one is my personal favourite. I have found that the best way to get rid of fear is to take it to my Father. We were not meant to do life by ourselves, we were meant to abide in Him because He is our rock, fortress and deliverer - Psalm 18:2.
I do this by praying, inviting God into the situation and fighting my fears with His words over my fears. Fear has this way of twisting our reality until nothing makes sense anymore which is where God comes in.
Remember how safe you felt when you were a kid because you knew your dad was at home and nothing could attack you while he was there? That’s how it feels when we soak ourselves in Abba’s love.
We are comforted by the fact that we have someone to do life with and the fact that He is always looking out for us. The more we rest in His perfect love, the less fear we have to deal with until fear is completely conquered -1 John 4:18.
He didn’t send His son, Jesus to die for me and you so we could live a life riddled with fear and anxiety. No, He died that you and i might live fear-free lives. The closer we are to Him, the less power fear has over us. Stick to Him and watch your fears disappear.
I would love to hear from you! Tell me what you’re thinking about, struggling with or would like me to address in subsequent letters. Just reply to this email or find me on Twitter. See you next week!
You can expect 2 letters from me weekly.
12noon Nigerian time on Thursdays and Sundays.
As someone who had a fear of public speaking and who now teaches public speaking, I will surely say practice has a lot of effect. Practice in front of the mirror as many times as you can. Practice in front of an audience you’re comfortable with, for instance, family and friends. If possible record your practice sessions so you can listen to yourself and watch for good/bad posture, lots of gesture, if you’re avoiding eye contact etc. And of course ask for feedback from your peers during practice. If you’re uncomfortable about practicing with people, practicing alone is ideal also.
Great pointers Inem! I really enjoyed this. I’m going to share 🤗
Thank you for sharing this Inem
One thing I'm learning sef is to do it afraid