About eight years ago, I decided to pick my pen and start writing. Thanks to a friend, I gathered the courage I needed to start my blog, where I wrote to my heart's content.
In 2015, my blogging helped me land my first professional job as a journalist. I started a lifestyle reporter with Pulse Nigeria, before moving on to several categories including religion, cars, news, sex before eventually making my way to Business Insider sub-Saharan Africa all within five years.
You would think I would be super confident with my writing skills by now, but that is not always the case. Now and again, I feel like I still do not have enough skills to call myself a journalist, writer or even a content creator.
Source - ThriveGlobal
There have been times when I have felt like an imposter who does not deserve the accomplishments I have achieved or the places my writing has taken me. Sometimes, I feel today is the day when people are going to discover that I am a fraud just before I send my newsletter out or drop an article or podcast.
This particular ailment I occasionally suffer from is called the ‘Imposter Syndrome.’ It turns out I am not the only dealing with this same issue. According to a 2020 review, 9%–82% of people, including Michelle Obama, have admitted to suffering from this psychological phenomenon.
Basically, its when you get intense feelings of self-doubt to the point where you start feeling like a fraud. Its when you question your presence in a particular room, role, job or relationship. When you constantly feel like the only reason you have something is not that you are qualified, brilliant or deserving but due to luck (outside factors, practically anyone but you or anything but what you have done).
Does this sound like you? If it does, I have just the solution for you. While this syndrome never really goes away completely, there are ways to deal with it and stop it from continuously robbing you of your joy and the ability to take pride in your accomplishments.
Benjamin-Whyss Olumide, a clinical psychologist, has just the thing for dealing with it. Here are his tips on overcoming Imposter Syndrome:
Be self-aware of unhealthy perfectionism
Perfectionism is like a virus; it constantly broods confusion. Once you realise that you’re constantly tilting towards not wanting to disappoint people or focus more on mistakes and afraid of failure and criticism, then you need to take a pause and reevaluate things.
Learn to do a task well enough and not perfectly. Perfection is the way you think it should be done. On the other hand, doing something excellently is doing it the best way it should be done.
Talk to other people
Talk to an expert — a counsellor or a therapist. They will help you articulate your struggle, overcome your deep-seated fears and help you understand your abilities. Psychologists are trained to help restructure your thoughts and mentality about certain things. They can help you appropriate your thoughts by countering negative thoughts with positive ones, as they come up with affirmations that neutralize those self-sabotaging thoughts.
Challenge negative feelings with the truth
Feelings are like suggestions, not fact. When the imposter's voice comes calling, do not discard those feelings and thoughts; acknowledge them, but do not agree with them. Counter them with reality-based statements and affirm it.
Source - Shillington Education
Don’t Plunge into Laziness, develop a quick plan
To overcome imposter syndrome, you need a long-term plan. For this to work, you need to understand your strengths, weaknesses and surround yourself with supportive people who can help you with your situation.
Your long-term tactic will help you deal with the negative thoughts and self-sabotaging as you begin to gain a more rational, objective and clear perspective on your thoughts and feelings.
Own Your Success with Your Chest
Yes, I said it. You did it. Own up to it. Regardless of how the success came to be, you did your very best. Receive all the compliments even if you think it was luck. Allow me to redefine luck for you. “Luck is when preparation meets opportunity”. So, yes, you were lucky because you were prepared when the opportunity came.
Always acknowledge your talent and skill when you get the job done. Develop a well-rounded and internal control of your personality. Take responsibility for your achievements and most importantly, celebrate every win no matter how little. Enjoy your success, journal the positive feedback, smile and live in those moments you’re showered with success compliments. This will help you realize that you’re deserving of all this, after all.
You are worth it! Source - Zoho Blog
Why you need to fight it
You may be thinking, ‘Inem, it is not that deep, abeg.’ But i promise you that it is actually that deep since Imposter Syndrome can ruin your life.
If left alone, it can lead to anxiety, a constant fear of being exposed as a fraud, depression, frustration, shame, and a lack of self-confidence.
It can leave you constantly feeling insecure, questioning every good thing in your life, make you feel like you do not deserve to ask for a raise and basically leave you constantly accepting less than you deserve in your jobs, relationships and life.
So, get rid of that imposter's voice in your head by shunning perfectionism, accepting constructive criticism, taking pride in your accomplishments and realising that you are no fraud because you are worth it, okay? I’m rooting for you.❤
P.S: This is the second to the last edition of the ‘Breakdown with Inem Udodiong’ newsletter for this year. The final issue will go out on December 27, 2020.
As always, I would love to hear what you think and what you would like me to address in subsequent letters. Please reply with your suggestions by using #TheBreakdownwithInem online or replying to this email.
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You can expect 2 letters from me weekly on Thursdays and Sundays.