The thing about haters…and why you need to get over them, imaginary or not
It's not about them, what they think, say or do. It's never been about them, its always about you. You have the power, not them!
Imagine holding on the image of your hater only realise that the hater in your head does not match up to the real thing?
This is what usually happens in real life and in Dash & Lily, a recently released Rom-com series on Netflix. There is a scene where Lily gathers the courage to confront her childhood bully Edgar (one could call him a hater) only for him to confess that he could not even remember traumatising her.
This bully had gone on to live a life unaffected by what he did to Lily. Unknown to him, a particular incident had become the source of a lot of her insecurities and stopped her from having friends or even having a normal childhood.
Just imagine that? See how much power Lily had given to an incident and bully who had grown up never giving a second thought to her. All that time, Dash had lived rent-free in her head, negatively impacting her choices and life.
This is what we do to bullies, haters, the people who hurt us. We give them a lot more power than they deserve. Sometimes, we tell ourselves that its fuel pushing us to be successful, lose weight, get married, do the things they said we could not do, but that is still giving them too much room in our heads.
It's about you not your haters
When will you realise that it should not be about them, what they did, said, or made you feel but that it's about you? Its always been about you. Stop holding on to the pain from your haters as fuel because it is a terrible source of motivation, use love instead.
"Its much more powerful to be pulled toward the future by a positive vision than it is to be pushed by something negative from the past" — Gay Hendricks, psychologist and writer of The Big Leap: Conquer Your Hidden Fear and Take life to the Next Level.
Love yourself enough to put in the work to become the best version of yourself. Stop letting people live rent-free live in your head, stop making it about them, and start making it about you.
Source - Entrepreneur
The truth about haters
Want to know something interesting about haters/enemies or bullies? Their words, actions are rarely about you, and more about them. Often time, people are acting or reacting based on the way they feel about themselves or how they see themselves.
So you see, its never about you since they are merely projecting their pain, insecurities, issues on to you. This is what hurt people do; they hurt others because they are hurting, so why would you internalise their hurt and make it about you? Why do we allow the actions of hurting people have such a powerful influence on our thoughts, actions, self-esteem…
Stop caring about your haters, imaginary or not and start caring more about yourself. This is how you grow and become the best version of yourself. Work on becoming the best version of you for yourself, not because of your haters.
I'm rooting for you.❤
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